Every year, October rolls around and New Englanders shift their focus. With summer in the rear-view mirror, our attention turns towards fall foliage, apple cider, carving pumpkins and scary stories (the worst of which is the 6+ months of misery we are about to endure).
And thus, here we are again – Halloween time. Last call for children to enjoy the sweet delights of sugary handouts (earn your own candy, freeloaders!) and last call for grown adults to show a little skin before our legs get hidden during the yearly hibernation.
Here at Portland Website Company, we not only celebrate Halloween but fancy ourselves as the heroes amongst all these villains. This is because every day, we endlessly battle to defeat scary websites that have been wreaking havoc on the people of Portland & greater Maine for years.
Here are our top “Website Monsters” we see all too often. Help us battle off these demons! (Garlic necklaces are optional.)
Dr. Frankenstein’s Website: We hear the story all the time. Here’s how it goes:
- Us: “How’d ya get your website, Frank?”
- Frank: “Well, ya know… my sisters, friends, son went to school for communications. So I told him I’d hook him up with a 20-inch pepperoni pie if he whipped me up a quick site.”
- Us: “…”
Look, we aren’t trying to be mean here. This kind of situation may have passed for acceptable 20 years ago. But not in 2018! If your site looks like someone created it in 20 mins while they were nursing a cheap beer buzz & half watching the Red Sox game- you’ve got a problem. It’s time to sit Frankenstein down & let him know that it’s not ever going to find love. Put him down old yeller style & end this pain.
The “Contact Us” Killer:
This killer is watching you. The user lands on an unknown site, they get little to no information of value and then it strikes! Before you know it you’re bombarded with, Contact Us Today, Call Now, Request More Info, Schedule this Thing, Buy Now. The buttons are so aggressive. You’re stabbing the visitor dead and their only safety is to run for the close page icon.
The truth is that most web visitors are in the immediate “buying stage” when they visit your site. They are in a “discovery stage.” Visitors are looking for valuable information to learn more about you and your services. If all you do is assault them with a bunch of contact forms, you’ll likely not get the conversions you so desperately want. You’re essentially killing your leads.
Casper the 404: You see the link, click and in a flash- gone! “404 Page Not Found.”
Broken links run rampant all over the internet and they not only hurt the user experience, but they are also unprofessional, and Google hates them. You’ve got to address broken links and fix them fast. The longer you live with Casper on your site, the more users (and Google) will see your business as unreliable. And when that happens, you may become prey to the next villain on the list.
Page 2 Mummies: Want to know where the best place to hide a dead body is? Page 2 of Google search results!
You need to be top of mind and you’re not going to get to the top without some search engine optimization. Page 2 Mummies happen but the good news is that they can come back from the dead. We’ve specialized in resurrecting these old bags of bones & getting them back on page 1.
SSL Hacker:
Finally, we’ve come to our last nemesis. The SSL Hacker is truly the worst demon on the list. This is because it’s actually, literally, dangerous. Are you a victim? Check your site now. If you don’t see that your URL starts with https:// you’re in trouble. That S stands for “secure”.
Not having an SSL means you’re much more vulnerable to real hacking on your website. And while this article is tongue and cheek about scary website situations, real legitimate website security is something we should truly all fear.
Is your website scaring away visitors? Contact your neighborhood ghostbusters (us) by filling out the contact form below and we’ll give it a look! I ain’t ‘fraid a no ghost. Happy Halloween!
